Choices That Define the Dress

1. Sit down together and work out a rough draft of the guest list. Is this about family and a few close friends? Do you both have huge families that must be accommodated, as well as mutual friends that just have to be there? The faster you determine the scope of the guest list, the quicker you determine a working budget.

2. Determine the members of the wedding party. Few couples have exactly the same number of siblings and friends, so you have to figure out how to balance that out.
Be gracious when it comes to including family and dear friends on either side. This is both your wedding and his. While the final number many vary as the big day approaches, having a good idea of the size of the bridal party will also help define what styles of wedding gowns will be most appropriate.

3. Have a heartfelt conversation about your shared vision of the wedding. Season? Morning or evening? Indoor or outdoor? House of worship, beach, garden, ballroom? Agreeing to these critical points will rule out some places by virtue of season, size or logistics.
Remember, no matter where your wedding may be, for many of your guests, it will be considered a destination wedding. Therefore, some guests will be in town for several days since coming to the wedding involves travel. It would be considerate of you to plan some optional activities for these guests. If there are more than a few, consider how you will make the guests feel at home and part of the event in the days leading up to the wedding. Perhaps a number of icebreaker events prior to the formal rehearsal dinner and reception? This is part of the budget consideration.

4. The search begins! Knowing how many people are to be invited, how big the bridal party is going to be, what season, time and location you have in mind, will be a terrific help in focusing on what gown not only expresses your personal style, but also is in sync with the other choices that are important to you. Sharing this information with the salons you visit will be very helpful in relation to the styles of gowns they suggest.

5. With magazines in hand, computer printouts and a tight list of 2 or 3 salons that have been highly recommended and/or carry the styles you are loving, you and your maid-of-honor (who is going take her position to heart) can start making your bridal appointments.

6. If mom cannot accompany you, or is not available, then either shop alone or with a trusted confidant. I know it sounds like fun, but don't bring a large entourage with you when you go shopping for your bridal gown; more times than not, It is utterly confusing, frustrating and highly inconsiderate to the salon.

7. My dear bride, before you step foot into the first salon please, please remember this: The No. 1 factor to consider when choosing your bridal gown is love.
You have to fall in love with your gown. It is a garment you will wear for perhaps 8 or 10 hours total. But it is also the one and only garment you will ever wear that you will remember every detail from purchase, to putting on, to taking off for the rest of your life.
Your fiancé will see you in this special gown for the first time as you walk up the aisle to marry him.

8. Once you have chosen the gown you love...buy it. If you find the perfect gown and then figure you can return in several months to purchase it, you may be disappointed. It could be discontinued. So my best advice is to find it and buy it.

9. Bridal gowns should be ordered at a minimum of 6-7 months prior to the wedding. That sounds like an insanely long amount of time, but wedding gowns are made to order (not to measure -- contrary to common belief), and then there are a series of alteration fittings to make your dress a custom fit. This is a process you do not want to rush.

10. Bridesmaid dresses should complement the wedding gown in style and reflect the bride's favorite colors. Once you know the silhouette, fabric and detailing of your gown, the search for the perfect bridesmaid dresses becomes easier.
But more times than not, it is a simultaneous process. So have a fun discussion of what kind of dress you are leaning toward, and listen to everyone's ideas for bridesmaid dresses. Determine if the expense is something the bride's family is willing to cover, or if each bridesmaid is to cover the cost of the dress. Either arrangement is fine, but it is critical this be decided before the shopping begins.
Some salons carry bridesmaid dresses. Others do not. Find out who does, and decide if you want to combine the wedding gown search with bridesmaid dresses, or make that a separate trip and allow sufficient time for everyone to try on samples.
As with wedding gowns, the more time, the better! I suggest bridesmaid dresses be ordered no less than 5 months prior to the wedding date. Keep in mind that if you have to ship the dresses to bridesmaids at different locations, you might want to build additional time into the schedule. Alterations in every case need to be considered. No bridal party wardrobe is made to measure, except in the most rare of circumstances.